They find it all, a different story.

my face and my attempt on being productive :|

i have been a bum since last week. productivity was out of my vocabulary. . .. until i read Athena's blog this morning. so i tried to move around today, looking for something to do. yet ended up here in front of the computer, again. but i was able to fix me bed, though. :P

i wanted to clean and organize files in my computer for the nth time. then i was able to go through my vain photos. yes i do have a folder full of photos of my [ehem. . ] pretty[?] face. hahaha. but this one below got my attention. its an old photo which was taken around November '11 and i really love it. :]

 

moving on, i can't really wait til sunday. my friend Athena will be coming over at my place to take photos of [ehem..] me. hee heee. and i really think its something to look forward to and be excited about since she is really good when it comes to this kind of stuff. 

you should visit her at Noting Athena.

anyway, i also spent some moment outside. tried to write down my thoughts to get my mind warmed up. and its true that writing once in a while is a good brain exercise. and its also good to have some time alone. but in my case, ive been having too much time alone and i really think i need to get out and be with people i miss.

good feeling, wont you stay with me just a little longer. .

seems like its just me and my sadness today. it really breaks my heart whenever i think about that someone. now, i just try my very best to just distance my self from that person. hoping that the distance would stop these feelings from ever growing.

anyway. id like to help myself forget by looking at these pretty photos of trees i took. they give me this positive feeling that some things are still beautiful despite the shit i feel inside and that things will get better. . . soon.

its been almost a month since i graduated from college. no school for me now. half of me feels happy about it and the other half feels sad and scared and confused about whats out there after school. its crazy.

i have been thinking bout what i want to do, who i want to be, what job to take. and there's just too much thinking and not doing anything. its frustrating that all i do is just think about things. i want something to happen already. and i cant just wait for things to happen. i need to move. i need to make a step. but im just too darn scared and then my mind goes "you need to think about it." so i would go and think again until another day passes and all i have done is think about it. gahhhh.

you see, i want to be a lot of things. i want to do a lot of things. and there's just one me.

but before all that, i still need to get my book finished and get my clearance cleared. after then i can think about how to get started on doing the things i want to do. i need to get this things done. -___-

moving on. these photos are just . . really beautiful. and id like to hold on to that feeling when your under a tree's shade and the grass is cold and you feel the wind on your face. .. it really is just a good feeling.

Daughter - Youth

i just love this song. it is just so beautiful to me. i couldn't really explain what i feel about it, but it makes me feel sad and calm, while but my heart beats like crazy.

i have been just hanging around youtube these days and just kept listening to music. it has been my way of spending time with myself for a while now and its been pretty good, actually.

catching up :]

sooo. . . a lot has happened since the last time i posted. 

• i passed my thesis. and graduated :D
• my family is complete again, with my borther coming home for my graduation to my surprise, IT WAS THE BEST GIFT EVER.
• i already have my Diana Mini (will have one post dedicated for her soonest)
• summer art workshop started (and will be ending this week D:) and the kids are just so adorable. SPECIALLY JOAQUIN <3
• i have been eating a lot lately :] YAY.
• i have developed a love affair with my new pair of shoes. haha :))
• been taking a lot of new photos lately.

graduation with my labs :)

here's an artwork of my student. its a bird house :)

meet the "ang kulit-kulit" na si Joaquin <3

mini burgers from Flame It <3

my  shoes and i love it

had a date with Carren :)

i have never been very busy. its just that i get really tired after class and just sleep when i get home. and it's just now that i had the urge to visit this site again and it felt pretty lonely. its been more than a month since my last post and i didn't have a post for the month of April and i felt sad, really.

when i was young. . .

everything was beautiful and nothing hurt. . . except for the occasional cuts and bruises i get from running fast, climbing trees, from playing and exploring. i just miss childhood so much.

i think this picture was taken in Family Park and i really think i was in grade 2.

last night, when i was, sort of, writing about my life philosophy for my philo class, me and a friend talked about how lucky we were to have a gadget free childhood. how we miss having summer vacation that felt like years and the pain it gave to know that it's over. there's a lot of things i miss in childhood.

i miss climbing trees and eating the fruits on top of it and call on the people that were passing by and giggle when that person tries to find who calls. >:]

i miss running around the grassy field and just letting myself to fall intentionally and roll on the grass and laugh at the pain i felt and then scratch the itch it gave and sometimes look for and catch some grasshoppers :)

i miss hanging and swinging while i hold on a broken coconut leaf.

i miss biking all day and not feel the heat of the sun.

i miss playing on that hill of sand, climbing to the top and letting my self slide while having a piece of plywood on my bottom and it was one of the best feeling ever!!!

i miss cooking all i could see and i would sneak inside our house to get some salt, sugar and rice and i also miss the smell of boiling "sagbot" and saying "hmmm, it so good" when it actually looks like shit. hahahaha.

i miss playing "tinda-tinda" and feel like im so rich and i have a lot of money when all i have, really, are leaves i got from the atis tree.

i miss wandering in those places i thought that has never been discovered but truth is, it was just a normal place.

i miss playing beside that huge C1-30 by the golf course and spend the whole afternoon looking for a four-leaf-clover or just lying under the shade of that huge airplane and look at the sky and fall a sleep once in a while.

i miss sneaking inside the golf course and let the guard chase after me and my friends (my dose of adrenaline rush) and when there were no guards we will play in the sand and on the grass.

i miss collecting rocks thinking that they were different and unique from each other but then they all look the same, really.

i miss believing that i have the power of the wind because the wind would come and blew harder whenever i whistle. hahaha. then i would stay outside our house waiting for a message the wind would send but it never came.

i miss keeping found objects and my mother would often scold me for keeping trash but to me they were treasures.

i miss playing tumbang preso, the slipper game, 'buwan-buwan", patentero, shampoo-shake, Dr. wakwak (i dont know who invented this but it's ridiculously fun) ice-water, lupa-langit, hide and seek, dakop-dakop, shatong, finding things, dampa, pulis-dunggab, bahaw-bahaw, cards and pogs and all those fun games we had. it was fun and i miss it.

but as much as i want to escape the future and go back to the past, i just cant miss the present. because i don't know what's going to happen. i just have to be there to see it.

Jens Lekman - An Argument with Myself

this song is wow. now im engaged to jens lekman. i have heard a few of his songs but this one really made my heart swoon. hahaha. i was listening to Interpol and The National before trying to listen to him again. good thing this was the first song i played. then i wouldn't have known better. :]

oh love, this song just make my heart leap with happiness. <3

04L :]

faces :)

athena . katrina . bea . caryl

people, meet the few awesome people in my life now. they are one of the main reasons WHY I GO TO SCHOOL. hahaha. no kidding, they really are. :)) it's been more than a week since i have made these sketches and wasn't able to photograph them til now.

today is March 1 @_@ and thinking about how near we are to the finish line of being college students, i cant help but think about how much i will miss these people. cheesy ra kaau ko, i know :| but really, PERO MAG THESIS SA MI. hahaha. :D so we can reach the finish line with flying colors. yessss. with flying colors. :]

photos :)

its been a while since i posted photos here which were taken for the sake of photography. and so i am posting now. :] i came a bit early to school this morning. i cant seem to stay in one place so i started walking and sTROLLING around the undergraduate building looking for something to catch my attention and took photos of whatever. of course i cant help but take a photo of my feet :]

these two are my favorites for today. both are linear/rectilinear subjects. well, whatever. haha.

anyway, we only have more or less than three weeks 'til the thesis defense. i am starting to have butterflies just by thinking about it. -_- so i may have to double my time working and yes i still have time to blog :), to unwind. [echosera]

Poison & Wine | The Civil Wars

omg. this song is like magic. im quite speechless on describing this song. those two, their voices are just love. <3

old doodles :3

gah, its been so long since i have made these kind of doodles. i miss doodling :( these two are a few of my studies for the pattern design plate we had way back when we were still in our second year. talking about how old this doodle is makes me think that im old. -_- which im not.

just thought of posting them again here when i saw them today while browsing some old photos. :)

overplayed song :]

this must be the most played Ryan Adams song on my iTunes. . . i love the 4:40 part of the song. it melts my heart away. heeeee. <3 the part when he sang the lyrics " just three words my love, you meant everything. . . " gave me the blues, but the good kind of blues. i just cant explain how much i love this song. :]

i might really have a never ending love affair with music. any music that makes my heart skip a beat like that time when you and your long time crush had an accidental eye contact. lol. hahahaha. sad that i cant play any musical instrument other than the flute. i guess i should get myself a guitar or better yet. . . a ukelele :) hahaha. but at least i could sing my heart out inside the bathroom. im a great bathroom singer just so you know. hihi [insert troll face here] i always have a concert every time i take a bath or poop. yesss. i sing when i do that. just read through it, ok.

and that's what i have been doing tonight. just feeding my mind, heart, and soul with good tunes and lyrics. i know im going to be eaten tomorrow for not doing anything. i am doomed, i know, but still cool :] ok, im not. fine. -_-

The Kinks - This Time Tomorrow

this time tomorrow by the kinks is just lovely. <3 it seems to brighten up my mood, always :) aaand im chillin again. :|

This time tomorrow where will we be
On a spaceship somewhere sailing across an empty sea
This time tomorrow what will we know
Well we still be here watching an in-flight movie show
I’ll leave the sun behind me and watch the clouds as they sadly pass me by
Seven miles below ma I can see the world and it ain’t so big at all
This time tomorrow what will we see
Field full of houses, endless rows of crowded streets
I don’t where I’m going, I don’t want to see
I feel the world below me looking up at me
Leave the sun behind me, and watch the clouds as they sadly pass me by
And I’m in perpetual motion and the world below doesn’t matter much to me
This time tomorrow where will we be
On a spaceship somewhere sailing across any empty sea
This time tomorrow, this time tomorrow

hours not badly spent :]

i am a sentimental fool tonight. my mind is filled up, like a bucket overflowing with water, with sooooo much thoughts and im going to write them down here to remember, i just hope that my words are enough to contain them. One of my professor said this beautiful quote that forever i will remember. . . and it's that. . .

"words are containers to carry thoughts. . ."

its a lovely quote and i just hope that my choice of words can justify the thoughts i have in mind.

spending times like this makes me feel better about myself and even if im not doing what i have to do. . . i think my time is not badly spent :) i should be making plates and assignments and other school must-dos now but i don't have the energy for it. my body is lazy and my mind is way too busy wandering in cosmos of thoughts and some of the thoughts i came across with gave me pins and needles and butterflies. :|


soon i will be in this "real world" they say. i just cant help but wonder what is it really like to be in it. im scared that i may not find the right place where i could actually fit in. im scared of not fitting in. its a sad truth i am dealing with. a friend said that what other people think, even those of she doesn't know, would matter to her and that is true to me too. i just hate being judged and i don't like the feeling of not being wanted. it gives me the heavy heart and makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me. ITS SAD. T_T but as the passive person that i am when it comes to things like this, i have never found the necessity to change myself for those people that doesn't even matter. bahala sila. pero it hurts you know. -_-

however, change is a part of life. its the only thing that is constant. and maybe we just cant notice it, but maybe, just maybe, we are changing. . . evolving into being the best or the worst person we can be.

being part of that "real world " would really make a huge difference. different people, places, things to do and the list goes on and on would make a huge impact on the person we are going to be. and im just so scared with what that real world has in store for me and also scared that ,when that time comes, i may leave some people behind and i'll be left by others. IT IS SCARY. CHANGE IS ALWAYS SCARY. but i have to get used to it somehow, i think.

i just know it in my heart that i will be willing to embrace the things life will bring. i know it wont be easy, but it will be worth it. and i will be more than thankful for the journey :]

and thus i leave you with this song by collective soul titled "run" which is an old time favorite of mine. i really do have a long way to run, do i . . .

good morning music :)

Missy Higgins - Scar

thank you missy higgins for making this morning really beautiful despite it being so freezing cold. darn, i don't understand why its this cold this time of the year, i really think that this weather needs snow to justify its coldness. -_- but if that happens, it would really scare the hell out me. . . and you too. you know, like, snow in the Philippines? the world would've gone crazy by then. but you know what, i really love this song by her. :) the video is not clear though :| but naahH.

good morning :)

FOOD IS SO MEAN :|

blue berry kruffin :>

gyoza <3

pretzel :]

me and my friends have been eating since last week. some days, we don't even stay in once place and go from one place to another then another. aaahH. my friend bea said that food is so mean because we've been thinking about eating even on facebook, tell me about it :| i could really feel that stress is on its way. THESIS have been bugging me for the past few days now, even in my dreams -_- and deadlines are getting nearer everyday.

and another reason why food is so mean is because it stresses out that STRESS IS COMING O_O

on a lighter note, i really love being with my friends now, which have made me come to a point that i realize how better my life is being single. now, i really feel even better. :)

belated Happy Valentines Day to everyone :)

Take The Right One - Bombay Bicycle Club

ive been listening to this indie band for almost a month now. i love their songs specially "lights out, words gone" which was actually the very first song i've heard from them. i really like how the instruments go together, it's something very new to my ear which im really loving <3 i also like their songs "always like this" and "how can you swallow so much sleep". :]

good music really really does make me happy :D even if the the message the song isn't happy. haha.

on mixed feelings and thoughts; here's a mixed tape.

Love month's here and here are the tracks id love to sing this time of the year. haha. i know some of them are a bit sad but i like listening to these tracks when i feel like being in zone. [echos]

i love these songs, they always makes me feel better, even if the message and the feel of the song says otherwise. :)

the track list:

1. Lights out, Words gone - Bumbay Bicycle Club
2. Passenger - Lisa Hannigan
   
3. Your Ex-Lover is Dead - Stars
   
4. Space Between - Dave Matthew's Band
5. Naive - Lily Allen
6. Sleep All Summer - Crooked Fingers
   
7. About today - The National
8. Maybe - Ingrid Michaelson
9. Let Her Cry - Hootie and Blowfish
   
10. The Special Two - Missy Higgins
    
11. Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
    
12. Accidentaly In Love - Counting Crows
    
13. Stay You - Wood
14. Another White Dash - Butterfly Boucher

i haz two cats :3

here's Owenge :3

here's Kato

and the two of them sleeping on the couch :3

my sister gave them names. im bad at giving names and so is my sister. [hahaha] kidding aside. . . these two are my daily dose of "awwwwe", they're one of the reasons why i have good mornings :>, and i just couldn't help but giggle when i see these two boys. hahaha. :">

i haven't posted for weeks. but i wasn't busy at all, im just an occasional blogger. hmmm. oh well. :)

learn. eat. move

so i have been hooked on vimeo for the past few weeks. there's just too much good stuff in there like these three short films by Rick Mereki. with a length of only a minute these video shows a trip of a life time in three different themes: learning, eating, and moving.

made by 3 men within 44 days with 18 flights to 11 countries! darn, im so envious right now; i just want to travel the world. there's just a lot of beautiful things out there that i'm missing out on, really.

but first, i have to travel within the country. >:)

well these videos really feed my thirst for travel. now, i need to find a job that will send me packing for flights going to different countries. I HAVE TO.

Instagram :)

i always have this "thing" for trees. i love trees. i've cried for one when i was about 8 or 9 yrs old. it was one beautiful fire tree and it broke my heart when i saw it being jigsawed by two heartless men. :( but they weren't really heartless, i just thought there were at that time. oh well.

and again my addiction on taking photos of my feet :D im lovin' it.

instagram. i've had this app for a long time now but was able to start using it just yesterday :| now im more driven to take photos because of this; i can cheat and make my crappy photos look good. [haha] well, the feel of using dslr in photography is still different. waay to different than this. but i don't have one, so i'll just settle for my sister's point and shoot and my phone for now. FOR NOW.

lovely morning on the beach :D

went to the beach early this morning. we left around 6:30 am. . . i told them yesterday that it's been awhile since we went to the beach and so my sister said that we'll go today :3 and we did! yay!

the sun was so bright but the wind was still cold. the camera wont take a good photo of the beach. because of so much brightness, the photo would turn out white. :|

THE WATER WAS SO COLD. I've had second thoughts on swimming yet the water was so inviting. so i took the plunge. :D there were very few people on the beach, though. i think there were just about 10 people on the water, including me, my sister, and my cousin.

we found three different star fish :D

there's another photo of my feet and one of my face which is being eaten by the sun. i like it on the beach but i only got into the water for a few minutes and just kept walking along the shore after. we just stayed there for about an hour or more and then went home :)

i love impulsive moments like this <3

my feet in 2011 :)

08.10.2011. Palawan. On the way to the underground river <3 with my over used slippers :)

12.19.2011. Ayala Terraces. Baaab Christmas Partey :D an Awesome day with Awesome people.

08.10.2011. Bohol. outside the house. Looking at and making the most of the beautiful cozy place :)

05.03.2011. Cebu. this was along northern Cebu, i just couldn't really remember where this was :( im standing on a huge rock covered with. . . im not really sure if that's an algae. but it was really slippery.

05.03.2011. Northern Cebu. i like it there. this was along the beach and the water was really good and i love the pebbles <3 my back hurts after picking some up. haha. but we weren't there to swim. my sister and i went with my brother for their pre-nup shoot to enjoy some road trip.

11.18.2011. at school. outside room 229 where the floor looks like an artwork in itself :)

05.03.2011. at Parian Ancestral House. the place was really nice. that nostalgic feeling in the smell of old things.

04.19.2011. at home. that time when you wanted to take a photo of yourself yet the camera wont take a good photo of it or was it because of your bad hair day or maybe you just really look ugly that day so you just take photos of whatever instead. :D

07.09.2011. Alcoy, Cebu. FASO acquaintance partey. the beach was really lovely <3

15.03.2011. Borbon, Cebu.

i was trying to clean my computer so i decided to clear some photos that were blurry and unnecessary and i was able to stumble upon the photos of my feet again and i thought of making a post about them. . . again. so here's the top 10 photos of my feet in the year that was :D

by the way. it's not arranged in an order :)