hours not badly spent :]

i am a sentimental fool tonight. my mind is filled up, like a bucket overflowing with water, with sooooo much thoughts and im going to write them down here to remember, i just hope that my words are enough to contain them. One of my professor said this beautiful quote that forever i will remember. . . and it's that. . .

"words are containers to carry thoughts. . ."

its a lovely quote and i just hope that my choice of words can justify the thoughts i have in mind.

spending times like this makes me feel better about myself and even if im not doing what i have to do. . . i think my time is not badly spent :) i should be making plates and assignments and other school must-dos now but i don't have the energy for it. my body is lazy and my mind is way too busy wandering in cosmos of thoughts and some of the thoughts i came across with gave me pins and needles and butterflies. :|


soon i will be in this "real world" they say. i just cant help but wonder what is it really like to be in it. im scared that i may not find the right place where i could actually fit in. im scared of not fitting in. its a sad truth i am dealing with. a friend said that what other people think, even those of she doesn't know, would matter to her and that is true to me too. i just hate being judged and i don't like the feeling of not being wanted. it gives me the heavy heart and makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me. ITS SAD. T_T but as the passive person that i am when it comes to things like this, i have never found the necessity to change myself for those people that doesn't even matter. bahala sila. pero it hurts you know. -_-

however, change is a part of life. its the only thing that is constant. and maybe we just cant notice it, but maybe, just maybe, we are changing. . . evolving into being the best or the worst person we can be.

being part of that "real world " would really make a huge difference. different people, places, things to do and the list goes on and on would make a huge impact on the person we are going to be. and im just so scared with what that real world has in store for me and also scared that ,when that time comes, i may leave some people behind and i'll be left by others. IT IS SCARY. CHANGE IS ALWAYS SCARY. but i have to get used to it somehow, i think.

i just know it in my heart that i will be willing to embrace the things life will bring. i know it wont be easy, but it will be worth it. and i will be more than thankful for the journey :]

and thus i leave you with this song by collective soul titled "run" which is an old time favorite of mine. i really do have a long way to run, do i . . .