They find it all, a different story.

my face and my attempt on being productive :|

i have been a bum since last week. productivity was out of my vocabulary. . .. until i read Athena's blog this morning. so i tried to move around today, looking for something to do. yet ended up here in front of the computer, again. but i was able to fix me bed, though. :P

i wanted to clean and organize files in my computer for the nth time. then i was able to go through my vain photos. yes i do have a folder full of photos of my [ehem. . ] pretty[?] face. hahaha. but this one below got my attention. its an old photo which was taken around November '11 and i really love it. :]

 

moving on, i can't really wait til sunday. my friend Athena will be coming over at my place to take photos of [ehem..] me. hee heee. and i really think its something to look forward to and be excited about since she is really good when it comes to this kind of stuff. 

you should visit her at Noting Athena.

anyway, i also spent some moment outside. tried to write down my thoughts to get my mind warmed up. and its true that writing once in a while is a good brain exercise. and its also good to have some time alone. but in my case, ive been having too much time alone and i really think i need to get out and be with people i miss.

good feeling, wont you stay with me just a little longer. .

seems like its just me and my sadness today. it really breaks my heart whenever i think about that someone. now, i just try my very best to just distance my self from that person. hoping that the distance would stop these feelings from ever growing.

anyway. id like to help myself forget by looking at these pretty photos of trees i took. they give me this positive feeling that some things are still beautiful despite the shit i feel inside and that things will get better. . . soon.

its been almost a month since i graduated from college. no school for me now. half of me feels happy about it and the other half feels sad and scared and confused about whats out there after school. its crazy.

i have been thinking bout what i want to do, who i want to be, what job to take. and there's just too much thinking and not doing anything. its frustrating that all i do is just think about things. i want something to happen already. and i cant just wait for things to happen. i need to move. i need to make a step. but im just too darn scared and then my mind goes "you need to think about it." so i would go and think again until another day passes and all i have done is think about it. gahhhh.

you see, i want to be a lot of things. i want to do a lot of things. and there's just one me.

but before all that, i still need to get my book finished and get my clearance cleared. after then i can think about how to get started on doing the things i want to do. i need to get this things done. -___-

moving on. these photos are just . . really beautiful. and id like to hold on to that feeling when your under a tree's shade and the grass is cold and you feel the wind on your face. .. it really is just a good feeling.

Daughter - Youth

i just love this song. it is just so beautiful to me. i couldn't really explain what i feel about it, but it makes me feel sad and calm, while but my heart beats like crazy.

i have been just hanging around youtube these days and just kept listening to music. it has been my way of spending time with myself for a while now and its been pretty good, actually.

catching up :]

sooo. . . a lot has happened since the last time i posted. 

• i passed my thesis. and graduated :D
• my family is complete again, with my borther coming home for my graduation to my surprise, IT WAS THE BEST GIFT EVER.
• i already have my Diana Mini (will have one post dedicated for her soonest)
• summer art workshop started (and will be ending this week D:) and the kids are just so adorable. SPECIALLY JOAQUIN <3
• i have been eating a lot lately :] YAY.
• i have developed a love affair with my new pair of shoes. haha :))
• been taking a lot of new photos lately.

graduation with my labs :)

here's an artwork of my student. its a bird house :)

meet the "ang kulit-kulit" na si Joaquin <3

mini burgers from Flame It <3

my  shoes and i love it

had a date with Carren :)

i have never been very busy. its just that i get really tired after class and just sleep when i get home. and it's just now that i had the urge to visit this site again and it felt pretty lonely. its been more than a month since my last post and i didn't have a post for the month of April and i felt sad, really.

when i was young. . .

everything was beautiful and nothing hurt. . . except for the occasional cuts and bruises i get from running fast, climbing trees, from playing and exploring. i just miss childhood so much.

i think this picture was taken in Family Park and i really think i was in grade 2.

last night, when i was, sort of, writing about my life philosophy for my philo class, me and a friend talked about how lucky we were to have a gadget free childhood. how we miss having summer vacation that felt like years and the pain it gave to know that it's over. there's a lot of things i miss in childhood.

i miss climbing trees and eating the fruits on top of it and call on the people that were passing by and giggle when that person tries to find who calls. >:]

i miss running around the grassy field and just letting myself to fall intentionally and roll on the grass and laugh at the pain i felt and then scratch the itch it gave and sometimes look for and catch some grasshoppers :)

i miss hanging and swinging while i hold on a broken coconut leaf.

i miss biking all day and not feel the heat of the sun.

i miss playing on that hill of sand, climbing to the top and letting my self slide while having a piece of plywood on my bottom and it was one of the best feeling ever!!!

i miss cooking all i could see and i would sneak inside our house to get some salt, sugar and rice and i also miss the smell of boiling "sagbot" and saying "hmmm, it so good" when it actually looks like shit. hahahaha.

i miss playing "tinda-tinda" and feel like im so rich and i have a lot of money when all i have, really, are leaves i got from the atis tree.

i miss wandering in those places i thought that has never been discovered but truth is, it was just a normal place.

i miss playing beside that huge C1-30 by the golf course and spend the whole afternoon looking for a four-leaf-clover or just lying under the shade of that huge airplane and look at the sky and fall a sleep once in a while.

i miss sneaking inside the golf course and let the guard chase after me and my friends (my dose of adrenaline rush) and when there were no guards we will play in the sand and on the grass.

i miss collecting rocks thinking that they were different and unique from each other but then they all look the same, really.

i miss believing that i have the power of the wind because the wind would come and blew harder whenever i whistle. hahaha. then i would stay outside our house waiting for a message the wind would send but it never came.

i miss keeping found objects and my mother would often scold me for keeping trash but to me they were treasures.

i miss playing tumbang preso, the slipper game, 'buwan-buwan", patentero, shampoo-shake, Dr. wakwak (i dont know who invented this but it's ridiculously fun) ice-water, lupa-langit, hide and seek, dakop-dakop, shatong, finding things, dampa, pulis-dunggab, bahaw-bahaw, cards and pogs and all those fun games we had. it was fun and i miss it.

but as much as i want to escape the future and go back to the past, i just cant miss the present. because i don't know what's going to happen. i just have to be there to see it.

Jens Lekman - An Argument with Myself

this song is wow. now im engaged to jens lekman. i have heard a few of his songs but this one really made my heart swoon. hahaha. i was listening to Interpol and The National before trying to listen to him again. good thing this was the first song i played. then i wouldn't have known better. :]

oh love, this song just make my heart leap with happiness. <3