in the shadow of doubt

soooo, its been two weeks since the 14th of November.

im feeling ok now. im missing him but i wont get carried away. i try to look at things the way they were before and realized that i wasn't able to do a lot that is worthy of my time. sigh. i cant beleive that i have chosen him over things that really matter. though i felt happy being with him i cant help but feel guilty at the end of the day and he knows that. that i feel guilty.

happiness was a fleeting feeling and guilt stayed with me until now. i'm just glad i wasn't able to fail any of the classes i wont attend to render him the "time" he wanted because if i did i wont forgive myself. i don't blame him for anything because everything i did was my own choice.

i have doubts when we were still together. a lot. one of the strongest was if i was doing the right thing. it felt so right at that time. maybe love does make you stupid. but i doubt if it was really love. im just not so sure now. haaaays.